Boyfriend, Girlfriend

[Jackolyn Stewart]

OKay I am dating my BEST FRIENDS ex boyfriend. and I KNOW it's wrong but we have had these feelings before they even met. so it was hard to say no to him... Now that we are dating she acts like she doens't care but... I don't know whta she is truly feeling and everytime we talk she only talks about how well her and her boyfriend are doing so... it seems like she's happy, but my other firneds tell me she still likes her ex and... wants back but when she taks to me she seems perfectly fine with the idea of em and him dating... do you guys have any suggestions or comments that would help out?

[James W]

A situation like this is difficult to analyze fully Jackie, because your friend may be secretly jealous, extremely even...or not at all. It's hard to say really, and it does depend upon where he and she were at with their relationship, how it ended, whether or not she is with someone now, and whether or not she'll ever want him again. It's always been an unwritten rule (at least among guys, probably with women too?) that you never date your best friend's ex...even with permission it gets kinda sketchy. It's just not a comfortable thing usually even if it is approved of or dismissed. If you are dating him and had feelings from before, then maybe she knows this and actually is alright with it. But have you sat her down and asked her directly without being forceful, but being concerned to know? I'd ask when no one else is around -- you don't need people's gossip or hearsay on this. I'd just be honest with her, ask her how she really feels, tell her that people voiced things that may or may not be true, and let her know that since you are her friend and do care about her as a friend that you came straight to her to know. If she can be honest with herself and with you without the pressure of anyone else around to hear anything, then she will tell you and understand. But are you ready to deal with the answer if it is not what you wanted to hear? How will you handle it if she does still have feelings for him and you are her best friend still?

[arlene iaconelli]

I AGREE COMPLETY W/ JAMES
I ALSO FEEL THAT ...YOU AS A PERSON JACKIE SHOULD BE PROUD! OF THE WAY YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW!!!! YOU WOULDNT BE A GREAT DAUGHTER IN MY EYES ...IF YOU WERENT CONSERNED ABOUT HOW SHE FELT RIGHT NOW REALLY!!... JUST REMEMBER THAT THINGS CHANGE ...THE ONLY THINGS IN LIFE THAT ARE "FO SHO" IS :CHANGE, DEATH & TAXES....LOL I KNEW I COULD GET YA TO LAUGH!!!!!
...ANYWAY I KNOW IN THE LONG RUN THIS WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER/WISER WOMEN I PROMISE! ...LIFE HAS A WAY OF DOING THAT TO YOU ....LOL...... IT DOESNT SEEM LIKE IT NOW AN I KNOW I WISH I WOULD HAVE LISTENED TO GRANNY TERRY"COUGH" COUGH" WINK" WINK" "DONT TELL HER I SAID THAT" WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE...YOU WILL CHANGE YOU WILL GET OLDER YOUR FEELINGS/HEART WILL CHANGE ...JUST DO YOUR BEST NOW AN IT WILL HELP YOU IN FUTURE ...
ONE MORE THING ...THAT IS PROBABLY OFF THE SUBJECT... JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELS HAS BEEN RAMBLING ON ABOUT... IS THAT ...JUST DO ONE THING EVERYDAY FOR YOU AN YOU ONLY YOU !!!
DONT WORRIE ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU ... JUST REMEMBER THAT ...I HAVE MY MOM & THE REST OF MY FAMILY THAT ARE THERE FOR ME NO MATTER WHAT ...SO I DONT CARE BOUT YOU!... NOW THATS WHATCHA TELL EM SUG....


LOVE YA ALWAYS!
MOM